persistence

per·sis·tent (pr-sstnt, -zs-)adj.

1. Refusing to give up or let go; persevering obstinately.

2. Insistently repetitive or continuous

Persistence seems to be the theme of my life these days. Nothing lately has happened easily or on the first try. It's both big things and small things, but everything has been so frustratingly hard to accomplish.

For example, I was trying to figure out when and where my loan money would be dispersed to me. It being my first time taking out a student loan, I didn't know and nothing during the process of accepting the loan told me when and where to expect it. It doesn't seem like a difficult thing to figure out, right? I read through a ton of material online and couldn't find the answer, so I called the Financial Aid office. The guy said he didn't understand my question... ??? Really? That seems like a pretty standard question to ask someone in the Financial Aid office... Anyways, he told me to read this 8 page document on the website and hung up on me. I read it. It didn't have the answer to my question. I called back. He told me to read this other thing and hung up on me again. I read it. It didn't have the answer either. I called back a third time and the guy finally had a light-bulb-moment and answered my question (and then hung up one me again). I called the same guy - three times - with the same question - and finally got the answer. Ugh.

And that example of having to be persistent was really the least of my worries. I've been planning this huge event for months - I've had 10 different people telling me 10 different things, others not keeping their word in regards to deadlines, and others telling me one thing and then taking it back, all while I'm trying to finalize the details for the event, making me have to go back and change things and start over. I'm finally getting somewhere now after countless hours of research, way too many phone conversations and emails, days and nights typing stuff up, and one too many emotional break downs. Ugh.

There's a long list of other things that have been so frustrating lately, but I'll end my rant there. I just wish one thing would go the way I want it to the first time.